Jesus to his apostles: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.” Today’s Gospel passage, coming in the heels of last Sunday’s Gospel reading, is part of Jesus’ instruction on the cost of discipleship which he gave in the context of the commissioning of the twelve (cf. Matthew chapter 10). Jesus wanted the twelve to fully understand and be aware of the kind of life into which they were being initiated. For starters, the twelve were going to be spending lots of time away from their families and loved ones. The mission upon which they were soon to embark was going to take them into uncharted and unfamiliar territories. Their life as they had hitherto known it was going to be totally overhauled. The world as they had known it was going to be re-structured. It was no longer going to be business as usual for the twelve. Success in their mission demanded that they ‘lose’ their old selves and be born again. To achieve this, they needed to let go of any and all indoctrinations to which the society might have subjected them (such as a sense of entitlement). They needed to learn how to perceive and interpret things in a manner that was in line with their newfound nature. This included their understanding of the most basic and revered human institution, the family. 
Just as it is today, commitment to, and love for one’s family was required of an individual in Jesus’ community. In the Roman Society (Roman Empire) of which Jesus’ community had become part, devotion to the family was considered a religious virtue (known as  pietas). An individual was expected to remain loyal to his/her family at all costs. Jesus and the twelve must have been only too aware of this. It must have come as a shock, therefore, when the twelve heard Jesus utter words that sounded as if he was suggesting that they lessen their love for their families. Had they not been taught from early childhood that the family was to be cherished and loved? Wasn’t the requirement to respect and honor one’s parents one of the commandments of God? How were they then to reconcile such a cherished tradition with what Jesus was asking of them? How were they to love Jesus more than they loved their own parents? 
However, it is safe to assume that Jesus was not suggesting that the twelve (or any of those who were listening to him) sever ties with their families. Jesus was simply asking them that the very devotion that they were having for their families be extended to the mission. Jesus did not want their devotion to him and to the mission to be seen as an additional duty and responsibility. He simply wanted them to see it as part of their  pietas. In addition, he was hoping that fidelity to the demands of the mission would move them to re-define their understanding of the family. For the twelve and for those who were ready to embrace the values of the kingdom, no longer would the concept of family be restricted to one’s biological relations. A re-defined idea of family would henceforth include every man and woman with whom they would come into contact in the course of their life and ministry. 
As disciples of Jesus, we too received this very mandate from the master on the occasion of our baptism. We too were asked to restructure our world view and to expand our understanding of the family. As a people who had accepted to be ‘born-again,’ we resolved to put on new selves and to live in a way that is consistent with the values of the kingdom inaugurated by Jesus. Living such a life as outlined by Jesus often calls for ‘losing’ oneself now and then as we let him (Jesus) to live in us. We ‘lose’ ourselves when we allow the Jesus living inside of us to increase while we ourselves decrease. We ‘lose’ ourselves when we cease being the center of action, when we see ourselves as part of a unified whole, and when we come to realize that we are called to live in a web of relationships. Such a life of losing the self is not an easy one (the effects of original sin makes it preferably easy to focus all our attention onto ourselves than on the other). Losing oneself is a life of making sacrifices, a life of learning to let go even as the world encourages us to clutch to things. It is a life of carrying one’s cross without complaints. Ironically, it is when we thus lose ourselves that we get to find ourselves (that we get to live, so to speak). We ‘find’ ourselves when we begin to understand that we are called to be givers and doers rather than mere passive recipients. We ‘find’ ourselves when we begin to understand the paradox of life. As the Peace Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi clearly puts it,  it is in giving that we receive,  it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.